persistence pays

when i went to summer camp as a young girl one of the "secret" mottoes of my tribe (go shawnees!) was DGU. it stands for "don't give up" and apparently those three letters, and what they stand for, burned themselves deep into the recesses of my brain. i am proud to say that i rarely give up on anything. i work hard at things that are important to me and can honestly say that no matter how many times you kick me i will eventually get back up.

that said...last week i got an email from the woman who organizes all the playgroups for the newcomer's club suggesting the addition of three new women to my group. my playgroup never really took off (we all remember what happened when i hosted) and the thought of adding anyone new was comical and tiring. i have taken a few walks with the one other woman who actually wanted the playgroup to work as much as i did. she wasn't able to make it to the session i hosted and i knew that before hand. i was the only person to show up to the session she hosted and we have since had a laugh over the whole debacle. so, as you might imagine, adding three more women seemed not only futile but down right ridiculous. but, hey, if at first you don't succeed...try, try again...DGU...that whole thing.

i contacted all three women and offered to host a group today around 10:00. when 10:15 rolled around i looked at wil and said, "good lord. not again." right when i said it a car pulled up. and then another. and another. and another. that's right....THEY ALL CAME. not only that, they were all fun, all normal, none obnoxious, all had cute kids, all eager to make the group work. i spent $6 on a dozen mini-bagels and brewed a pot of coffee. there were no fresh flowers (although someone did bring me some!) and i didn't get up at 6:30 to clean the house. the conversation was easy and the kids played very well together even though they range in ages from 1 year to 21 months. they can all walk, even the 1 year old (overachiever!) and they gabbed, played with wil's toys and chomped on bagels as if they'd been doing it for years.

as i watched the kids playing and the women visiting i felt so happy that i'd decided to throw myself out there again. maybe we'll be friends for years. maybe we won't. but i'd never know unless i tried and, this time, it payed off.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge

manipulate me

when pip was visiting over spring break she noticed (as i had...let me get that in there) that wil loved to play with all manner of knobs, switches, latches, etc. she told us about a board that is made with latches and such. she suggested to ryan that he could probably make one instead of us buying one for $150+. after some research we found out that they are called manipulation boards and they are used in both some preschool classrooms and rehab facilites teaching (and reteaching) fine and gross motor skills. we got some ideas and set off to lowe's to buy materials. two weeks later wil has his board and he loves it. thanks ry...it's awesome! and thanks pip for the inspiration!

the board

wil at work

wil supposed to be posing but watching basketball (it's march madness!) instead

peace sign.

the story is not a long one or even that interesting. the sign was ryan's mom's and i always admired it hanging in her house. it was given to me last summer and i love it...the way it looks, the color, and especially what it says.

just one of many things in our home that make me feel happy...and peaceful.

confessions of a deadbeat blogger

i pretty much made the decision to quit the blog for good. i wasn't feeling it anymore...it became more of a job than a journal and that was never my intention. the time wasn't there...or, more accurately, i wasn't making the time because, honestly, i didn't want to. for a few months i have been going days without even turning on the computer and it has felt oh so good. contrary to what you might think i didn't quit the blog for FB...i quit the blog because i felt like the blog was strangling me.

when i worked outside the home it was so easy to spend hours and hours on the computer doing anything from work to reading to emailing to surfing the web. i had 8 hours a day to play and i loved it. when wil was a tiny baby the computer became my link to the outside world. he slept a lot, most of my friends were at jobs where they did all the aforementioned stuff on the computer and i got on the computer in the morning and stayed on all day to feel connected. as he's grown my time has become less and less. he wants to play. he wants to eat. he wants to go outside. he falls down. he needs a hug. he wants to read (again and again). he has no patience for my being on the computer and he shouldn't have to acquire it. then there's lucy...and the cats....and, oh yeah, me. lucy needs a walk. the cats need food (again and again). i want to exercise. i want to read. i want to take a shower alone . i want to load all my cds onto itunes. i want to organize. i want to cook. i want to sleep. ARGH....there's no time for it all. so things get ditched. the blog. the reading. the shower. the cds. the exercise.

but then there's the guilt. not over the shower but certainly over the blog. SIGH. same song, different verse.

when you work outside the home you learn to multi-task. you learn that there are things that need to be done today and things that can wait. there are things that take 20 minutes and projects that last 2 months. there are deadlines to be met and a boss to impress and somehow, regardless of co-worker chatting and web-surfing, things get done. when you are home with an ever-changing variable (wil) it's not as easy to get things done. there are no deadlines (oh, i'll get that last 10 lbs off someday....i think my hair can go just ONE more day before i wash it...everyone loves PB&J for dinner - it's FUN!) and there is no boss to impress. there isn't an annual review and everything starts to run together. i am rambling.

the point is this. i get overwhelmed at times and i fall off the face of the earth. i have always been this way and it shows in different areas of my life at different times. i am trying to teach myself how to build a schedule and stick to it. i am trying to learn that everything doesn't have to be all or nothing. this is a very hard lesson for me. very hard.

nevertheless i am back and will continue to be back a few times a week (maybe less) but certainly no more. it's hard to achieve balance when you're clumsy as hell but i will continue to try.

while emily was out yachting it up, i....

dealt with this...

shoveled this...

walked this...

paid these...

changed 100 of these...some with poo...lots and lots of poo

tried to do this....

and this...alone (never succeeded)

washed, folded and put away this...

and this....

entered a period of "change" (love the new 'tude wil)....

emptied this...multiple times....

made this...

filled these over and over and over...

tried to make something out of nothing....

unloaded, reloaded, unloaded, reloaded, unloaded, reloaded this...

repeatedly opened and closed this for dog...

and cleaned this...

all while generally looking like this.

emily, with all my heart i hope your week sailing around BVI on a private yacht was glorious. no doubt after viewing this photo essay you're probably pretty bummed you didn't take the week off to be me.

birds of a feather

i caught myself staring at a shelf full of odds and ends the other day, thinking about how we'd come to possess each of them. we have some pretty cool stuff, if i do say so myself, and almost all of it has a pretty good story behind it. in some cases the story is about the thing itself, in others the story is about something the thing reminds me of. regardless of what makes an object sentimental it's fun to take the time to sit, stare, reflect, remember and regard it.

i don't really consider myself a material girl. i like nice things as much as the next gal but i can love a shirt from old navy just as much as one from anthropologie. that's why i love our trinkets so much...the love doesn't come from how much it cost or whether or not it's fancy but from a place in my memory. on occasion when i cannot sleep (a lot lately)i will lie in bed and think about what five items i'd grab on my way out of the house in a fire. ryan, wil and animals aside, these are things i would miss if i no longer owned them, things i consider irreplaceable. it's a funny exercise because, with a few exceptions, the things i'd save are constantly changing. all of this, as you might imagine, is simply an introduction into an idea i had for this blog. i want to tell the tales of these things...make them come alive, if you will, for you, for me and if he cares to read them someday, for wil.

up first, the one thing that's always on the fire safe list....my bird.

i got this bird one summer in newport, ri. mom and dad were visiting us in MA and we made the trip to newport for the day. newport, in case you've never been, is a really neat and quaint town in RI. we had such a wonderful day and when i look at this bird i mostly think about our day. we had a wonderful lunch, drove the coast and looked at all the fancy mansions, mom and i shopped, dad and ryan bar hopped and we had a final drink to toast the day at the red parrot. while there dad drew a map of texas for the bartender on a napkin which she promptly hung up above the bar. i haven't been there since but i hope it's still there.

the bird itself was one of those things that i saw and immediately, without any hesitation, knew it would be mine. i didn't care how much it cost*, didn't ask, and i picked it up and headed to the register. i bought something else in that store, too, but i cannot for the life of me remember what it was. i don't even know if i still have it!

i cherish this bird. i cannot explain it. it makes me so happy to see it. i think it's beautiful and quirky and odd. you can tell that someone put a lot of time into creating it (the shop gal told me that it was a local artist and one of a kind) and i love that. it was made with someone's hands and i wish, oh how i wish!, that i could make something so cool. it's something i will have forever and will be the first thing i grab (after all the living) in a fire. it lives in our bedroom, far out of reach of little hands, and if it were to be broken i might fall to my knees crying the same way my grandmother did when i broke her beloved giraffe. it's just a bird, i know, but it's the only one...and it's mine. next time you visit, ask me to see it...i'd love to show it off. but remember...you see with your eyes, not your hands.

*thrilling tidbit: the bird cost $35. i would've paid 100 times that and was surprised that i wasn't asked to. i've always remembered the price...probably because i was so pleasantly surprised by it.

sunday driver

one of wil's best birthday presents was given to him by aunt heather & uncle kurt...his very own four-wheeler! until recently either the weather or his health or our simply not being home has kept him from riding. i took him out friday, a beautful 46 degree day, and ryan and i took him out again yesterday morning. even though it was C-O-L-D the sun was shining and he managed to get a good ride in. we tend to think most things he does are pretty darn cute but this takes cute to a whole new level. enjoy!

perspective on size

thumbs up

back in business

it's been 2 months and 3 days since my last confession...uh, post. man oh man so much has happened! we celebrated thanksgiving and christmas, we said good-bye to 2008 and welcomed in 2009, wil turned the big O-N-E and had a fantastic party, we took another trip to texas and came home with one hell of a souviner...RSV!...i checked a few things off my list and just this week, i rejoiced as a new administration took charge of our great country! the times they are a changin'....

the thought of trying to write posts on all the stuff that's happened over the past few months is completely overwhelming. i'd be lying if i said i'd do it so i'll fess up now and say it's not gonna happen. i will, however, try to sum up the last 2 months and 3 days with this:

i am so grateful for the life i have been blessed with. i feel happier than ever and more sure of myself at 34.5 than i ever thought possible. for one, we have been blessed with the most beautiful, smart, funny and stubborn little life on the planet. wil brings us new joys (and new frustrations) every single day and i cannot imagine how we ever lived life without him. (well, more books were read and more movies were watched but these are minor things...) we have the best friends in the whole world. throughout the last months of 2008 and the first weeks of 2009 we were fortunate enough to share many laughs, stories, drinks, eats, tears, hugs, smiles, joy and love with so many friends, both near and far. the older i get the more i realize that distance is only a problem if there's distance in your heart...thank God we don't have that problem. we also spent the last two months sharing time with members of both familes. it started at thanksgiving and just kept going. what an outpouring of love and support we get from them all and we consider ourselves, again, blessed.

there is nothing more beautiful than sharing love and being loved. that is what the last two months have been full of, the sharing and receiving of love, joy, and peace. what a wonderful world!