back in business

it's been 2 months and 3 days since my last confession...uh, post. man oh man so much has happened! we celebrated thanksgiving and christmas, we said good-bye to 2008 and welcomed in 2009, wil turned the big O-N-E and had a fantastic party, we took another trip to texas and came home with one hell of a souviner...RSV!...i checked a few things off my list and just this week, i rejoiced as a new administration took charge of our great country! the times they are a changin'....

the thought of trying to write posts on all the stuff that's happened over the past few months is completely overwhelming. i'd be lying if i said i'd do it so i'll fess up now and say it's not gonna happen. i will, however, try to sum up the last 2 months and 3 days with this:

i am so grateful for the life i have been blessed with. i feel happier than ever and more sure of myself at 34.5 than i ever thought possible. for one, we have been blessed with the most beautiful, smart, funny and stubborn little life on the planet. wil brings us new joys (and new frustrations) every single day and i cannot imagine how we ever lived life without him. (well, more books were read and more movies were watched but these are minor things...) we have the best friends in the whole world. throughout the last months of 2008 and the first weeks of 2009 we were fortunate enough to share many laughs, stories, drinks, eats, tears, hugs, smiles, joy and love with so many friends, both near and far. the older i get the more i realize that distance is only a problem if there's distance in your heart...thank God we don't have that problem. we also spent the last two months sharing time with members of both familes. it started at thanksgiving and just kept going. what an outpouring of love and support we get from them all and we consider ourselves, again, blessed.

there is nothing more beautiful than sharing love and being loved. that is what the last two months have been full of, the sharing and receiving of love, joy, and peace. what a wonderful world!

here kitty, kitty....

wil and lucy don't have the only starring roles in our house. they share the billing with our two cats, stone peoria & murphy. each time we add a new member to our cast the star of the show has become a supportive player. however, when you think about theatre & movies, it's the supporting roles who give the whole production color. with that in mind, today we turn the spotlight on stone & murph.

i got stone in the summer of 1996. i really wanted a cat of my own so i headed to the local shelter in sherman, texas. as always, there were so many cute cats waiting for a home but stone was a special case. she and 13 of her brothers and sisters had been found in a dumpster with their mother who was deceased. the kittens were sharing two cages and i sat on the floor and took each one out one by one. all were bouncy and playful...except stone. she was the runt of that huge litter and when i took her out she stayed right were i'd placed her. that did it for me. i paid my $20 and took her home. she was so tiny and scared. erin was my roommate at the time and in her room at the back of the house she had a bookshelf made of wood and cinderblock, very common college student furniture.stone used to go into her room and crawl into a hole on the side of the cinderblock and stay for hours and hours. she was gray and blended into the block hence her name. (i also had a fascination with stone phillips & stone gossard of pearl jam so it worked. oh, and i thought she was a boy.) she got very sick soon after coming home with ring worm. she lost all her hair after she was treated by a quack vet and almost died. she wasn't even a month old! as soon as she began to get better i started buying her canned tuna and salmon. she ate it up....and she started putting on weight...and never stopped. she has been with me for almost 13 years and i could fill a book with stories about her. she is moody and smart, loving and funny. she was my first "kid"and she has a special place in my heart. i am delighted that wil loves her above all our animals and find it endearing that she is never far from where he is. she has a crazy name (another story for another day), a full-figured bod and a tiny head. she is one of a kind and my life wouldn't be the same without her.

murphy came along in the summer of 2002. we'd discussed getting another cat as a friend for stone and murph kind of fell into our lap. i worked with a woman whose neighbor had a pregnant cat dropped in her lap. the pregnant cat, emily, was a 6-toed cat also called a double paw. (if you've never seen a double paw cat they are really cute. their hands & feet look like catcher's mitts.) my co-worker told me this story one day and i asked her to secure one of the kittens for us. we went to see them right after they were born (remember rita?!?!!?) and couldn't wait to go back and pick one out. ryan and i went one saturday, played with them all and picked murphy. ironically murphy was the only kitten that wasn't born with double paws. the woman we got him from questioned us about our decision (as if we were biased!!!) but murph was the most frisky of all the kittens and that's what we wanted. we had one laaaaaaaazy cat, we didn't want another! besides, we thought a frisky kitten might give stone a much needed workout. murphy was so cute and funny. he bounced all over our tiny apartment and gave us a ton of laughs. he still does. stone hated him (and us) in the beginning but she soon got over that. they are as close as brother and sister. murphy is a comedian. he is mysterious and longs to run away outside and sometimes does. he has become extremely loving lately and is the one animal that tolerates wil's "petting." he drinks a ton of water (we had to buy him a water fountain - seriously) and will steal a twizzler right from your hand. another one of a kind and we are grateful to share our days with him.
i know a lot of people don't care for cats but i find them fascinating. they are super smart and can be grumpy and opinionated but when they love you they really love you and it's great. stone and murphy...you're the cat's meow.

BFFs

when i was growing up my BFF was a little doll my grandmother nora gave me. her name was karen and i carried her everywhere by her hair. i guess i thought that was the best way to hold her. she's still with me and is as beautiful as ever*.

wil's BFF is a giraffe blankie who ryan and i named paco way back when to avoid saying, "where's his giraffe? which one? that one? no this one..." wil is in love with paco and although he doesn't yet realize it, paco is special because he was a gift from my BFF denise. each time i go in to get wil out of bed he raises paco to me first for a greeting. each night before ryan puts wil to bed, paco is pushed into my face for his own goodnight kiss. paco's mere presence makes wil feel safe, secure and happy. i have long stated that i would not give into the idea that there should be a backup paco. i used to believe that losing paco would be a good lesson in loss but that was long before an adorable little boy fell in love with him. with that in mind...i'll be shopping for paco #2...just in case.

*beauty is clearly in the eye of the beholder. when i took karen out for her photo session i showed her to wil. he backed away from her. i pushed him toward her, he turned a moved further way. the look on his face was one of utter horror and he made an "ick" sound. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! maybe loss isn't a lesson i am prepared to teach him but acceptance of things that look different absolutely is. poor karen. she's gorgeous! missing thumb, wobbly neck, dirty face & all.

city gym, country gym

i am from lamesa. suffice to say, i am not fancy, i know basic and, honestly, i prefer things that way. but a little fancy never hurt anyone.....right?

for the past month ryan's dad and step-mother (heretofore ned & katie) have been talking to me about passing over ned's membership to the atlantic club. each time this conversation has come up i have been quick to tell them that i recently joined WOW and that i am happy with the gym and it's services. that always falls on deaf ears. they have talked up the pool, the babysitting, the machines and the classes at the atlantic club and i have polietly listened always saying, "yes, it sounds great - but i am a member of WOW and i like it there." either they haven't heard me or they don't care because, well, you'll see.

this all started when ned decided to join a gym. naturally he joined the atlantic club. he stopped by for a visit and a glass of water after one of his first workouts and i congratulated him on trying on a new, healthy, lifestyle for size. a few days after that he failed a stress test given by the club and was told he'd need a note from the doctor to continue. until he was able to produce said note, the membership would be on hold. he made an appointment that he moved and then moved again. as it turns out he wasn't all that interested in the new lifestyle and since he'd paid for a year's membership up front he decided to pass it off to me. thus, paragraph #1.

ryan and i get a kick out of both ned and katie. they are absolutely generous to a fault - especially to me - and whatever they decide you need, you get - the deluxe model. i explained again and again to ryan that i felt bad taking the membership when i already went to WOW. he finally said, "take it. they won't stop until you do and, who knows, maybe you'll like it better. or maybe you'll find a combination of both gyms best fits your needs." ryan. so, so rational and fair. so, i accepted and am now a keycard carrying member of both the atlantic club and WOW.

i decided that today was a good day to try the atlantic club out for the first time. they have an intensive yoga class schedule and i wanted to see if the classes were really as top notch as they're rumored to be. because the class was 90 minutes and i wanted to get the lay of the land i asked katie to watch wil for me. she happily agreed, arrived promptly at 10a and off i went.

my first chuckle came only seconds after i turned into the parking lot. you see, standing out front were two guys in inform ready and waiting to valet park your car...complimentary. wow. or more to the point...not that WOW. i happily parked myself. i walked into the club through the automatic doors and had my second giggle as i passed the coffee bar/cafe - it was packed. the woman that greeted me was SO nice and offered to show me around. i was in a rush to get to class so i said i'd give myself a tour after. the facility is gorgeous. there is, indeed, a huge pool, wonderful machines, a pilates room full of strange apparatuses, there is a large and lovely spa, a locker room that has a hot tub and wet and dry saunas and, of course, the daycare. the best part about the daycare is that i can leave wil there for $5 should i ever visit the spa. WOW. no, not that wow. impressive.

the class was amazing. the woman that taught it was from india and, honestly, i think that made it even better. she had the heat up high, kept the room dark and said things like, "say an om into your third eye." SOLD.

the whole time i was there i felt like i was cheating on WOW. WOW is fancy, too, in its own way. the equipment is state of the art, the classes are good and i feel comfortable there. i felt comfortable at the atlantic club too. so, what's a girl to do? i've decided to keep both memberships going. if i find i go to one or the other more often i'll make a decision then. like i say, i am not about fancy as much as i am about results; and you can get results in a barn, in the dead of winter, in the middle of nowhere. rocky taught us that.

craft works

i love art. i specifically love art done in the arts & crafts style and folk art. keeping that in mind there are a lot of things i wish i could do. in some respects i am a bit more a dreamer than a doer. i don't think that my resistance to do comes from laziness but more from the fear of failing coupled with a lack of patience and the unrealistic idea that i should be able to do everything perfect on the first try. for example...i had always wanted to go to 'paint your pottery' and paint something. rita, always a friend in trying out new artsy ventures, agreed to go with me one saturday when i lived in boston. she picked out a teapot, i picked out a wine chiller. she had fun painting hers, i did not. she did not try to be perfect and therefore enjoyed herself, i did not. she loved her teapot, i hated my wine chiller.

i happened along a little table stuck in the corner last night before leaving vendor's night. i hadn't seen much that tickled my fancy at that point and had only made one purchase - a pair of fun earrings for myself. the table was covered in the cutest t-shirts of kids i have ever seen. they were made by a woman in balitmore and were being sold by her friend in NJ. awe and envy is how i felt browsing these shirts. it was one of those 'why didn't i think of this!?!?!' moments. i couldn't resist...i bought 3 for wil.

the woman sells her shirts on etsy.com which is one of my favorite websites. in browsing the site this morning i remembered exactly how much i love handmade stuff. i feel inspired - to do what i don't know - but i'll keep you posted. in the meantime, if you are looking for a gift, something fun for yourself or a little inspiration, check out etsy. i promise you won't be disappointed.

make new friends...keep the old

rita came to visit us for a few days this past sunday. if you don't know rita you are really missing out on a neat person. the youngest of seven children rita is about as laid back as they come. we met soon after i moved to boston when we worked together at the archdiocese of boston. we became fast friends and have remained so over the past 7 years. i was so grateful that she made the trip to NJ...five hours in a car alone is not always easy...but thankfully she had beautiful driving weather both ways. it was a thrill to be able to show off wil - especially to such an attentive audience. we spent her time here cooking, walking, shopping, eating, driving and, most importantly, talking. rita is both a great conversationalist and a great listener. we have shared a lot of thoughts on many subjects over the years and it was fun to have nothing but 3 days to talk and think with her. i am so glad you came, rita. i cannot wait for the next visit!

after last week's post detailing the events of my failed playdate i have happy news to report. this week at music class a new woman joined our group. she and i seemed to hit it off and at the end of class she suggested we exchange numbers which we did. i don't know where that will lead, if anywhere, but it was nice to be singled out for a number exchange. i also made some headway with a woman in my class that i like and have been casually and slowly cozying up to for a few weeks. her daughter is almost exactly the same age as wil and she and her husband are about to move into a house in one of the towns that make up the newcomer's club. i actually know someone that lives near her new place and asked her if she planned to join newcomer's. she said she probably would after the first of the year and suggested that wil and i come over after they actually moved in and were settled. that also felt good and i walked out of music with a little more spring in my step.

also of interest...the failed playgroup seems unwilling to die. a woman from the original group offered to host this week. i emailed her to say that wil and i would be there. it was this morning and before we arrived i stopped to buy her some sunflowers, my favorite, as a thank you for having us. we were the only people to show (she was expecting 3 total) and i was glad we did. her son is 10 months old and he and wil played well together. we had quite a few things in common: both lived in boston, both dated our husbands long distance, both red sox fans, both husbands are penn state fans, both tall. i admitted to her that i wasn't sure i saw our assigned playgroup getting off the group but suggested that she and i do something together with the boys soon. she seemed happy with that suggestion and i will make good on it.

i am also stepping a little further out there by attending the newcomer's club vendor night tonight. vendor night is held this month in place of the monthly sip & chat and there might be some cool arty-crafty stuff to buy. it will be the second newcomer's event i've attended this season and will complete #34 on my list.

and one last thing combining both playgroups and newcomer's club....heather's playgroup is being held tomorrow and i have been invited. the interesting part is that it is not at heather's and one of the women took it upon herself to include me. even though my link to the group is unable to go wil and i are still going and that is a good thing.

all in all things are good. i went from taking pictures of an empty room to this in just under a month. patience truly is a virtue.

winning endorsement

i made a list recently of the products i am currently loving. as luck would have it...i cannot find the list. anywho...maybe i still have enough brain cells left to recreate it. i'm giving it my best shot.

microplane zester/grater
if you don't have one of these puppies, run - don't walk - to get one. jessica had an extra somehow and i was the lucky recipient of said extra. i am in LOVE with the thing. it is easy to use and grates everything from hard cheese to soft cheese to lemon to cinnamon. as you can see it only costs $9.99 but it works like it costs $999.99.

aqua globes
this "AMAZING, AS SEEN ON TV" product is another gem. oddly enough it's best saleswoman is a 4.5 year old girl named lily. lily saw the commerical one day and became an immediate true believer. she encouraged her mother, heather, to go out and buy them right away even though they don't have any houseplants. she's also encouraged me to get them and given me the entire sales pitch. well, way to go lily, because i bought it hook, line and sinker. when i moved the plants inside for winter my biggest dread was keeping them wet. well, well, well...no need to worry. the aqua globe does that for you. laugh if you will but they work and they are awesome. and, honestly, i think they are kind of cool looking. in fact, i like them so much that i bought 4 and plan to add at least 2 to that collection. a tip that the makers of aqua globe don't share. the plant you put the aqua globe in should have fairly damp soil when you insert the globe. otherwise the plant sucks all the water out of the globe in one day and you are back to watering all the time...or filling the globe all time. lesson learned the hard way. if you love your plants but hate watering them, aqua globes are for you.

clorox anywhere hardsurface
if you have 3 pets and a little boy this is a no brainer. if you live alone this is a no brainer. watered down bleach that won't hurt anyone but kills 99.9% of all bacteria...no brainer.

wholly guacamole 100 calorie snackpack
guacamole in a 100 calorie snackpack? nothing more to say... i know you're thinking that it probably isn't much guac but, surprisingly, it is enough for two sandwiches or a decent helping of chips. yummy and easy.

maidenform hip fit cotton boyshorts
my friend amy swears by these. she made me buy a pair while we were out shopping during her visit last january. i resisted but bought just one pair. she was right about everything - comfortable, no panty lines, all cotton for breathing, etc. i have since purchased 5 additional pair and look forward to slowly converting all my underwear to these. woo hoo amy! (they are $9/pair in department stores...you can find them on the net at places like barenecessities.com (my fave) for much less.)

so there you have it. if you find yourself with time to grate some fresh lime zest into your guacmole while wearing your boyshorts... time you only have because the house is 99.9% bacteria free and the plants are watered...think of me.

courting mommy

my dear friend rita sent me an article on mommy dating this week with the question, "is it really like this?" SIGH. yes, rita, it's really like this. allow me to illustrate my point.

i am a member of a social organization called newcomer's club that brings people from four towns together for women's events, men's events, couples's events, family events, charity events...you get the idea. we joined last year but after having wil i was not emotionally ready to tackle meeting new people. this year i have been to one of the women's events and i requested that wil and i be added to a playgroup. i was excited about the playgroup for several reasons but mainly because two dear friends (denise & heather) have uber-successful playgroups where moms AND kids have become great friends. i wanted that for myself...and for wil.

assignments came out about 6 weeks ago and i was placed in a group with seven other women with children all around wil's age. i was so excited but as not to seem desperate i waited to see if anyone else would jump before i plunged. no one did (which should've been a sign) so i offered to host the first group at my house. after about 1,000 emails back and forth we all agreed that thursday's from 9:30-11:00 worked for all of us. i was excited. all seven women were coming and i just knew lifelong friends for both wil and me were going to show up on my door step.

the night before four of the seven cancelled. still hopefull i got up before 6a on the morning of the big day and scrubbed the area that we'd be "playing" in within an inch of it's life. i was working on adrenalin and hope. i took a shower, took great care with my hair and got dressed up...but not too up...again, didn't want to seem desperate. i got wil dressed up too and by 8:45 we were ready and waiting. and waiting. and waiting so long, in fact, that wil gave up.

you can probably see where this is headed. my first guest arrived at 10:15. she was very nice but, honestly, i cannot remember her name. she did not want coffee or water or coffee cake. she hovered over her daughter and kept pulling out toys that she brought from home for her daughter to play with. i am sure she is a lovely, wonderful person but for lack of a better way to say it...she wasn't my type. my second guest arrived frazzled and apologetic at 10:50. she also didn't want coffee (or water...or coffee cake) and her child, the oldest of the group, ran all over the house without her supervision. at one point, she actually said, "i wonder where he is..." WHA? in her defense, she was pregnant and the kid was BEYOND high energy but, jeez, wow. again, she is probably a wonderful, lovely, person but, while more my type, i just wasn't feeling it. the third person never showed up and the aforementioned left at 11:05.

disappointed does not begin to describe how i felt. i was completely deflated. look, it's not that i don't have friends here. i do, great ones. this is not about wanting to replace those friends...just add to them. and, honestly, this was a chance for me to make friends on my own. it was the first time since having wil that i was willing to put myself out there and it flopped. luckily, i am not a quitter. i'm in this game to stay and, eventually, i know i'll find a winning team.

so, rita, the overwhelming answer to your question is YES. it's hard to meet moms, it's hard to meet men, it's hard to make friends sometimes, too. even if you have a great network naturally in place there will still be a time when you've gotta swim out there on your own and it's hard. the thing that keeps me going, however, is that with perseverance you will eventually make great, lifelong friends that will totally get it when you share stories just like this.

if you can stomach it...check out my photos.