
tomorrow master wilkes james higgins will turn an unbelievable 18 months old. i cannot believe the little person i see before me and i go through my days feeling both awestruck and terrified. he's a full fledged toddler now and i would be lying if i said i was prepared for what having a toddler truly meant. i hardly need to describe to any of you what having a toddler is like but in the interest of "putting it on the record" i am going to try to describe what our toddler is like these days.

he's part whirling dervish, part tasmanian devil. he has a great sense of humor and a frightening temper. he can make you laugh until your sides ache and in the next moment bring you to tears. he is insanely clever and seemingly brilliant but at times even the most basic of tasks cause him great angst. there are moments when he shows great initiative and moments when he seems to be the laziest person on the planet. he is growing too fast. so fast, in fact, that there are days when i think his whole life will pass me by without my noticing every last detail. he adores his father, lucy, stone, murphy, paco, yogurt, anything that crunches, raisins, the outdoors, water, sandwiches of all kinds, hats, music and elmo. he gives great hugs and seems to have an infinite supply. he is getting to know himself and is able to assert his likes and dislikes stronger, at times, than i am capable of handling.
we go to school now and he is thriving there. i've chosen an introductory montessori program where we both participate and i have been thrilled with the results. it has been fascinating to observe him with other children and to see him settle in to the routines of the classroom. his teacher called him "sweet" and said that he was one of the "kindest" children she's seen. (although lucy or his classmate jack might disagree after taking a punch or two to the head.) i have referred to him in my class observation journal as the "little observer." i can only hope that his observation skills, combined with his natural curiosity, will lead him down great paths.

he can throw a ball, help set the table, put his clothes in the hamper and "walk" lucy around the block (closely supervised). he loves to "help" and get in on the action. his hair is getting thicker and it's strawberry blonde tones remind of ryan's mom and her great red hair. he is still a big kid but his body fits him and he is learning to manipulate it in ways that delight us and make us laugh. he says only a handful of words but continues to chatter constantly. truth be told, on occasion i have worried that he is not saying enough words but i try not to let the worry get away from me. i know that one day he'll wake up talking,
really talking, and i'll long for the incomprehensible babble of today.
i love him more than i ever thought possible. i try not to get so caught up in shuffling him from here to there that i take him for granted. he is seriously a wonder and it rocks me to the core that i am responsible for creating him and giving him life. now, more than ever, i want to hold on to who he is, although at the same time i cannot wait to see who he will become. he is my best buddy, my constant companion and one of my greatest achievements. and even during those times that he drives me so nuts i consider drop kicking him, it only takes one flash of his megawatt smile to bring me to my knees.

he is a joy, a miracle, a flash of light; the personification of goodness, humor and love...and he is ours. our gratitude and pride are without measure. happy 18 months little wil. i love you.